The other half of my soul..

I don’t have one..

I recently was with a beautiful woman who I cherish with 5 blessings all her own.

She is a blessing to me oh how I enjoy her.

What I have to say I don’t enjoy is her take on marriage for me sometimes.

She suggests a renewing of vows.. her husband did it secretly for her set up a vow renewal

How precious it is..

It’s her anniversary and I am so overjoyed for them..

But she just would not let up about the vow renewal once it got brought on..

I hope my face didn’t show.. the disappointment I have as a marriage..

I didn’t want to burst her bubble..

But as she celebrates the other half of her soul..

I start to focus on what I don’t have instead of what I do.

No I do not have a marriage I am proud of or even want to continue because of so many reasons personally..

I’m selfish, I’m shallow, I’m self-centered and feel I’m too broken to be in any kind of romantic relationship..

But here I am..

There are no time-outs with a family who needs you..

I’m glad there aren’t anyway..

Please Lord let me focus on what I have now..

That’s all that matters..

Even though I still cry over spilt milk at times.. what I have right now..

A full tummy on a great lunch..

Smiles, a little bit of sunshine, a cushy bed to lay my head..

3 beautiful girls watching me constantly..

The boy is camping and I will see him tomorrow..

Here’s to a full day..

Love you all



8 thoughts on “The other half of my soul..

  1. Sorry about that, NH. Those who do a vow renewal when they haven’t been breached – or don’t know they’ve been breached – good for them. But if they couldn’t keep them the first time, WTF? Why would anyone think they mean it the second???

    To be honest, I have always thought vow renewals are a desperate cry for help. We are falling off the rails here, what shall we do? Oh, I know, the brief excitement of ‘another wedding.’ That’ll fix us!

    • This couple married young and had a stressful wedding between families so the husband wanted to recreate something on their own. Precious and special… sometimes it still hurts I remember when I thought I had that bleh 🤢🤢🤢🤢

  2. If it helps, I’ve literally never seen a vow renewal (besides the 50th ones and up around there that are just a reiteration of their commitment to each other at their anniversary party) that didn’t result in divorce within a few years. I hope it’s different for them… but I’ve yet to see it. Vow renewals seem to be some sort of skin grafting surgery, for love. No matter how it looks, it’s still just covering the wound.

  3. Trigger. Even if you stay with someone I don’t think i would want the wedding that isn’t a wedding because of all the broken promises that would overtake everything that might be enjoyable. I don’t ask people about their relationships now. I don’t presume anything.

  4. OH and I are not married, but I fully believed in our commitment to each other. He said, post-DDay that he now realises he never understood what true commitment really meant. Well, duh! You had a long term EA. That much I do understand!
    I think that if he ever did ask me to exchange wedding type vows, I would politely (well maybe not so politely) decline. That ship sailed when he decided it was OK to cheat on me!

      • He can make new vows to you and arrange for it to be private, romantic, and intimate (I think of the beautiful, hidden but treasured and SACRED-feeling marriage in Braveheart here, but without the priest), without all the attention of a public vow renewal/2nd wedding. He severed them; he can do everything to create new ones… without any fanfare/outside attention.

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