Honesty

 So we have a barista in our little town. And she is kind to us, anyways yesterday She confided that her husband/fiancé (I’m not entirely sure) is a cheater 

I went for a spin! My heart broke for her! 

And I talked with Charles in the car and basically called all cheaters scum and should be thrown in the cold Ocean to be food for whales (yes I know that isn’t a thing)

I apologized to Charles I also told him that I hate this world he took me too that I wanted no part in. 

I hate being angry at stupid Christian books that see marriage as a science and that you can protect your marriage from your spouse being a dishonest slut 

I hate that adults who commit to other adults are fucking cowards and cannot treat spouses with dignity and respect

I hate knowing that the last statement I just made is apparently too hard because it seems that affairs are the norm rather than the exception

I now want to be an exception however I find it will never be with him

I will start writing Charles letters about how I feel. 

Because full honesty is too much and sometimes I’m mean

My honesty maybe correct but the delivery doesn’t treat Charles as a human sometimes 

And he is 

I’m quite bored in this marriage we did have sex after I blogged about it but it’s manly to keep from master bating to porn. I enjoy sex with Charles I’m still not in love with Charles. 

I wonder going on year 4 if things will get better for us like statistics say 5 years it will get better 

I’m not holding my breathe. 

I’m over him so over him. 

Bringing him to Samoa was more of a coparenting thing more than I wanted him there. 

He was also a necessity he is so good at directions
something i praise him for

I praise him for a lot I’m just not in love with him and starting over with  him is not fun

The newness of starting over with an adulterer is just lackLuster 

I don’t want to go on dates with him 

I am starting to plan a trip on antiversary day. A day I celebrate myself because being married to a claimed reformed cheater is not easy 😂😂😂😂

Well here’s to the day I have 7 children under my roof today and am enjoying life while Charles is on away on business! ❤❤❤❤

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4 thoughts on “Honesty

  1. 7 children? Are you hosting a playdate?

    Letters to your husband? That’s a good idea. Does Charles know about your blog?

    I think I wrote this on another blog too, and I really think that adultery and religion needs to be kept separate. No God says, go bonk other women. Every single religion considers marriage sacred, and even when multiple wives are allowed, there are complicated definitions about the sharing of spouse, and their value over outsiders.

    There is no science to reconstruction of marriage. It is a lot of mud-eating compromise.

    • LOL I miscounted 8 I have 8 kiddos 😊 yes having another families four children over ❤❤❤
      Yeah I need to work on my communication with him. Just to communicate with him honestly but lovingly

      I still am not a fan of being his wife but the thought of him doesn’t disgust me like it used to. Or just designating him as the worst person I have ever dated. I no longer just put him with the worst.
      I do still hate him but it’s like a distant hate one where I don’t think of often but when I do he just leaves a bad taste in my mouth

      But yes mud eating compromise is a great description of it for sure

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