Talked to Charles last night 

About all of this 

the letters I am drafting 

How I just do not care about what he’s doing 

He seemed to need to know what brought this on? What caused this Train of thought 

Kind of surprising how former adulterers act like betrayed as if I know what makes me care less about him, what memories trigger me 

As if I could pinpoint the exact thought or moment that truly makes me say I’m so over you Charles..

Just as he can never truly pinpoint what made him turn into such a cheating lying slut 

So many thoughts, emotions, events

I doubt I could ever point out what makes me not want to be with him because there is SO much LOL for real so much…

Anyways he gets all riled up and wants like a so where are we now? And are you leaving me? 

he acts as if I’m going to give him some sort of 2 weeks notice divorce kind of situation

And a little disappointed he wouldn’t get that from me

I was shocked that someone from his standpoint would even think that’s an option

As if I can’t just wake up tomorrow and say please don’t come home and I’m going to need the keys 

Because he needs notice he would appreciate notice 

And I wonder what kind of person I have turned into to really want to say screw you!! You don’t get notice did I get a fucking notice??!

That’s right I didn’t so 🖕🖕🖕🖕

But looking at the situation rationally do I want to be like him? 

Because my first gut emotions sure are to be..but when I think about it he’ll no I don’t want to be him 

And I want to be able to give him respect and be above the type of spouse he was to me.

And not in a superiority way but  in a I do not want to sway who I am. I would be if I did him dirty on purpose, for revenge. 

I don’t want to be that person 

Yet I gravitate towards that person. 

Instinctually 

It is disappointing and helping me grow all at the same time 

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One thought on “Talked to Charles last night 

  1. What kind of person have you turned into by wanting to say “screw you?” You have turned into a person who is sick and tired of living a lie. If he wants “notice” give him notice. There’s nothing wrong with standing up and roaring!

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