Let’s start with the quick deets
Charles and I are still together
So busy with side hustles Pampered Chef and I decided to get into selling little girls dresses
So entrprenuershipping on I know that isn’t a word
A blogger named E commented on my post from 2 years ago and I could read it all the way through without feeling like I want to die or wanted Charles to die or hoped Kendra would fall off a cliff or something
I read it all and agreed with every word
I wish I could go back and do all the things many lovely betrayed told me then. Be kind to myself. Take it easy Being the person I was and given the sucky husband I had I didn’t know how.
Sometimes I wonder with the way I grew up that I needed to find a destructive man who will hold me back the controlling, sad comments, lackluster of adoration to me that felt comfortable
But anyways finding out how the milk spilt is just a partial solution.
I know how to be kind to myself now and working on that.
Doing things I enjoy and finding things I enjoy
Building my faith
Loving my family
The affair will always come up
At odd times, at picked times as well
I still think of Kendra not on purpose but when my mind plays tricks on me and remembers her on the oddest of things.
I’m still sad she is even a memory I wish I could forget she ever existed. Memories of her serve me no purpose
Charles and I laugh together he tells me he loves me and sometimes I say it back sometimes I don’t
Lately I’ve been thinking about the naivety of how I wish I saw him and how it won’t ever be.
Charles is not a man I would trust with my heart all of me ever again.
He’s such an outer fixture, temporary
When I married him how I loved that boy and how I love him now is so different.
Well just checking in
Not hanging on but living and enjoying life not because I’m with Charles but because I’m loving God and thankful for my life and my family
Till next time