This little light of mine

While driving in alongside the Channel the beauty was mesmerizing. I thought I took pictures but I didn’t.

Anyways while coming home from the car repair shop I was thinking how much I have changed.

The revenge I sought for Charles hurting me. The want for him to hurt too.

What a crazy vicious cycle.

Anyways I thought as I got to have no choice in having an adulterer for a husband. Charles has no choice to the person I have become. He has no choice in the wife he will get ever anymore. Just like he broke his covenant with me, the collateral damage of the affair (too many to name) I have moved on from him.

Yes I’m still married to him

But he doesn’t have a hold on me like he used to. He isn’t that big of a deal anymore. I used to be all google eyed and starry thinking about him. I rarely think about him.

I do pray for him and want good things for him but he isn’t the big act he once was.

I doubt he will ever be.

Anyways just me rambling on time to get some shut eye

Until next time

NH

4 thoughts on “This little light of mine

  1. I feel the same way about mine. I no longer love him. It has become so hard to be in this marriage when it used to be so easy. I hate what his affair has done to me and us. My love story is gone and replaced with this shit storm that never ends.

  2. I feel ya! It is a vicious cycle. The struggle of being true to yourself and your convictions warring against the resentment you feel. The only thing you can do at times is to turn off your feelings so you don’t feel that pain so deeply. Ahhh! I know exactly where you are at because I am there too! xoxo

  3. Same here. He used to be my everything. Married with the asshole when I was 19; never loved someone else as I did with him, but not anymore. I live with him coz I haven’t yet taken the decision to leave…who knows, maybe this fking joke of a marriage survives, maybe not, but I can laught and clear say ‘ I NO LONGER LOVE HIM’

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