The anger

So he got a new guitar

I don’t care

Really I don’t

But his smile

The giddiness of his presence

And I want to take these boxes and scream and yell and cry

I want to be with someone who loves me like that

Don’t laugh

Not like a guitar

Kendra may have gotten all the best pieces

Devotion

Trust

Excitement

And I want to riot

I want to take all of those guitar boxes and burn them and beat them with a bat in the dent yard

Where all the neighbors will think the SAHM has gone bonkers

Go inside nothing to see here folks

I’m so angry I want to bust all of his stupid guitars

With a bat

Like right now in front of him

I wish the war inside of me wasn’t so strong sometimes

I got the job for subs and it’s so sad how much they make

How little those to watch precious babies and teach amazing minds make even less

Okay off to finish making dinner

I have often heard that

We must forge on creating a new marriage between the both of us

I don’t know how to do that especially now right now when I want to take a bat to things

How I had to bring our kids to all his stupid gigs

How convenient I made his life

How I still rage inside

Fuck him

More importantly how to live through tonight

Fuck me

I always wanted him to love me as much as he loved his damn music

I begged so many times for his affection like a damn dog

🤦‍♀️ like 1,000 times over

I’m going to need help to get through tonight

3 thoughts on “The anger

  1. So sorry hon. Totally get the anger. When OH gets excited about his latest fad, I find myself thinking “Is that how you felt every time you were arranging to meet HER?”.
    Oh yes. I totally get your desire to swing a bat! Much love. X

  2. congrats on the job! …and Kendra didnt get shit besides your sloppy seconds – dont ever get that twisted! …try and focus on the positive in your life…you just got a new job – stack some money and buy yourself some things – just like he just did. Do you boo! You need it …

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