And I’m doing my nails I swear it’s because of my nail biting habit I got so sick so now I have nails
Like a full set and I wanted to paint them so I did.
Anyways back to my post he’s gone and I neither miss him or want him
Suppose I’m just working my way to free
Not in like a career but free from the codependent roles in my life and working my way free of most of my terrible habits
Like my floor that I sanded and did not finish
Have yet to finish
College officially started today
And that was a challenge I’ve never had so many classes that I have to be at my desk for
And there’s my 3 year old Squish who did not get into headstart because her family makes to much money but not enough to afford $250 a month preschool what the hell??
So homeschooling preschool and 1/2 time with the boy…
And a commenter asked if I ever talk with Charles about the affair and I haven’t thought about communicating with him about it.
We haven’t in a LONG time and when we do it’s usually me jabbing at his character
Like he will say “Yeah I got a hot college wife!!”
And I will say “You weren’t this excited last time and you had a hot college wife back then too just you didn’t care then. It’s weird you care now.”
So things like that and I wonder if it’s okay
He knows it hasn’t gone away or the fact I still treat him insanely different now
It is weird though he laughs so much more and I can’t help but love it
Not because of anything “we” related but just on a human level
Laughing is one of my favorite things to do.
And he takes part in it
Seems he’s been dead so long and he needed to sulk in the garbage of him and Kendra to realize what a zombie he is and was…
I wonder if laughing for him is a trigger of what an asshole he was and still can be
I needed to make rolls for church. I forgot. Thought I would get up early with Charles and go to the store. I didn’t
So we have to be at church by 10:50
I leave for the store that I want to buy watermelon at and flour. So I come home with watermelons, flour, and cinnamon rolls. I get in the house about 10:27.
And he is stressing because I don’t do what I say I am going to do. (Go ahead and laugh I did in my head)
So instead of addressing that dumb comment because what kind of person he was or is now is of irrelevance to me. How I am treated is relevant.
Soooo I say. I do not know what the problem is. I bought what I said I was going to buy, I got a few extra things, and we are on schedule. If there is a problem go ahead and tell me, because to me this isn’t something to be stressed about
And you know what he said?
I don’t know what he problem is, I’m just being crazy.
I affirmed his emotional status we laughed and moved on
I can’t remember is he apologized or not
But I do remember how I felt and I was not apologizing or explaining myself
And I was not going to be cornered just because he felt I should do things his way or the way he believes I should go about my life
So maybe be do talk about the affair just in different angles
Because he never would have admitted he was being crazy prior to being a married slut
And I would have never stood up for myself like that without losing my shit or apologizing for the way I am then feeling guilty.
All things after affair created..